Hello, Mars
Tree House on Mars!
Intro + overview.
Introduction
Mars, what a place - humanity’s next best hope for survival.
Olympus Mons, Valles Marineris, Tikonravev Crater, Aeolis Quadrangle, Galle Crater, Terra Sirenum.
Barren landscapes, earthrises, sunrises, -225 F winterscapes, dry valleys, desolation, lack of vegetation, lack of breathable oxygen, punishing UV rays.
It’s truly a place like no other.
In partnership with the leading American private aerospace firm, Tree House is delighted to share that we will be the first fully-operational brewery and experience-based location on Mars. Nestled into the the bucolic stretch between Elysium Mons and Isidis Basin in the Utopian Basin, our plans call for a brewery like no other with controlled areas of outdoor space, large indoor gathering areas, and humanity’s most sophisticated brewing equipment. This endeavor will add value to the experience of visiting Mars by creating a centralized space for community and spirit where friends and families can unite to the taste of artfully crafted beverages and revel in the arts on a desolate wasteland of redness and despair.
Hiring + Jobs
As part of our mission to be the first self-sustaining brewery on Mars, we intend to hire 42 earthlings to help us work through the uniquely challenging logistical challenges associated with transporting goods across 168 million miles of the vacuum of space.
Environmentalism
As part of humanity’s plan to terra form Mars, Tree House intends to emit as much CO2 byproduct from fermentation into the atmosphere as possible to accelerate the warming of the planet and make it more hospitable as a second home to our currently-tethered species.
In closing
Imagination and ambition have resulted in our ability to plan and construct such an ambitious and gravity-defying endeavor.
Building a community of inhabitants on Mars is humanity’s ultimate challenge. To make things more hospitable and enjoyable, Tree House is delighted to bring our experience and brewing expertise to our neighborly planet in a way that will bolster relationships, create lasting memories, and leave our impact as humanity’s first multi-planetary brewery.